Smiling Through A Broken Heart

I take a certain amount of pride in being - USUALLY - the dude who likes to smile! I'm a big guy with tattoos and a whole lot of history to go with those tattoos. I was given the nickname, "Chill", years ago for my humble skill at calming some of the roughest and meanest - ANGRY - individuals you can come across. Being a professional bouncer for years, this was most definately a skill to have. In the field, we are called "Coolers", and most nightclubs pay big money to have guys like us maintaining the fun and happy environment that is the foundation of most popular nightclubs.

There's a whole lot more to my history than that, but I know without a doubt that very few people intimidate me. Now, ask me about spiders and ghosts and that's an entirely different subject! ;-) What I'm trying to say is that I have earned the right to consider myself one that can hold his own in most situations. And, if you know me, you'll know that this is one of the few times in my life when I call myself a "badass". But, you know what - it's just something I gotta say in a post about smiling through a broken heart! So there! ;-P

Nah! I aint a badass, but I do take pride in being a strong person, and I am saying this because there is nothing wrong with being strong - both mentally - and physically. Now! If you view many of my videos, or read much of my written words, it is pretty obvious that I believe in the power of something called love. I love animals and children, most people, and I do believe in a higher power, or God. And, I will never EVER tell you that "my way" is the "right way", because what works for me may not work for everyone.

But, I am VERY guilty of preaching one thing, and that is the power of love! So, you see my videos, photos or art, and you read this guy saying that true and genuine love overcomes ALL obstacles, pain, and hardships in life - and he's a "badass?" ;-) LOL

YES! I am! And every single man, woman or child who is courageous enough to truly open up their hearts to this often bitter and cruel world are badasses in my book! I am so privelidged to have so many in my life who share this belief, so I guess I'm writing this for all you other guys out there. In my journey through this wild and wacky adventure we call life, it was those men and women who would only fight in order to defend their principals and beliefs, protecting what they love and cherish, that earned my respect. And, you know what - the bravest were the ones who would one minute take a bullet for you, and the next - break down and cry on your shoulders. This is a real "person".

So, here's me being real. Just things I can't seem to admit to in the "real" world. Thank God for the internet. I feel so friggin' brave right now! ;-)

All in all, I am happy. There's so much that I can be thankful for in this life. No! For reals - everyday, I find so much in this world to smile about! ;-)

So, I have this woman and child in my life. If you've seen my photos, you'll probably notice there is a lot of a brunette and a baby. You might even guess that she's my girlfriend. The truth is I do love her and her son with all my heart, but as far as a "couple in love" relationship, it's just not there.

We were together until just after we lost our unborn baby a little more than a year ago. Things just changed and neither of us could ever seem to put back together what had been broken. And, such is life. We've been to that point of vowing to never speak to one another, only for one of us to break down and break the silence. And, here we are - two people who were once in love trying to salvage some sort of friendship. And, it hurts me to realize that I honestly don't think we can do that at this point. It hurts a lot.

Like most broken love relationships in life, we've just grown in two separate directions. And, as I am famous for saying, life is too short NOT to be happy and in love. So, yeah - I am single. Have been for a while. Moreso, and here it is - I am lonely - and really missing having someone to share my life with. And, you know what - it does NOT help to have my ex in my life right now. I realized that this morning.

But I face a certain dilemna, and that is being spiritual and the beliefs I hold onto. I'm not just looking for any love - I'm looking for THE love. And, after experiencing some truly great loves in my life, I know what I'm looking for. I am blessed to have experienced true and genuine love. Honestly, I thought she was it, but no. Now, I could get involved in something that didn't fully fit together, but what if I do this and THE ONE I've been waiting for happens across my path?

LOL "Why Danny, it sounds like you're carrying more baggage than Queen Elizabeth on a weekend trip to the Canary Islands?"

No! That's just it. There is one thing I have learned that I like to say to everyone experiencing a broken heart - The next one is always better than the last! Best friends times ten!!! LOL And, you know what - I'm gonna find THE ONE and it's gonna be like the best E-Ticket ride at Disneyland - worth the wait!!! That, my friends, is faith.

See - there's my reason to smile!!! ;-)

But, right now I gotta say goodbye to someone very special to me and that really hurts!!!! Hell - there was even a salty discharge from my eyes this morning. As long as we're trying to be friends, we're both standing in the way of us moving on to who we are really meant for!!!

I made this video the last time I was at this point. This was our final attempt at salvaging a friendship and that hurts the worst. It hurts a lot!