ME: I don't need your black spatulla anymore!
ME: Guess what?
ME: GUESS WHAT?
SA: Who is this
ME: G U E S S W H A T ?
ME: Danny.
SA: Is this your number?
ME: yeah. i went and bought a new android phone.
SA: Nice danny!
SA: Can i stop by real fast
ME: yes!
ME: WHERE ARE YOU?
ME: how do u cook a grilled cheese samwich
SA: Is this always the number i e call u on? Ill save in my phone if so
ME: yes!
ME: gitchy gitchy ya ya da da! moka choka loka la la!
ME: This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we'll need plastic surgeory to remove our godamn smiles. You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of you're assholes!
SA: Vacation to wally world
SA: There r alot of pit bull lovers out there. u should flash statistics of abused dogs being aggrassive and abused people being agressive..to show its how
SA: How a dog is raised weather or not they r mean..just like people
SA: And make sure u get lots of pics of jackson n biggie off our fbs
ME: ok
ME: this is not the car I ordered. I distinctly ordered the Antartic Blue Super Sports Wagon with the C.B. and optional rally fun pack.
ME: and i'd appreciate u putting the new name as maverick or dragon.
SA: No prooblem
ME: maverick
(THE MAVERICK IS BORN!)
ME: This is Maverick. Do you know how to detect and treat the STD Chlamydia?
SA: Known as the clap? I do believe a foul oder, drippy goo from your junk , cottage cheese goo and excuse me while i barf....google it
ME: yes. while kids think chlamydia is cool - IT IS NOT! Take The Maverick's advice and don't go in without proper protective gear! Like condoms and stuff!
(I AM ANONYMOUSLY TEXTING ANOTHER FRIEND WHO HASN'T FIGURED OUT WHO I AM YET! I THEN GIVE HER A HINT TO TALK TO SA)
ME: did you per chance talk to shyla recently?
SA: Just now
ME: wow? funny! so did i!
ME: weird
(THE NEXT DAY! I HAVE DISCOVERED THE SIGNATURE FEATURE ON MY TEXTS)
ME: THIS IS THE MAVERICK! GOOD MORNING!
-Sent from The Maverick
ME: Goose?! This is the Maverick!
-Sent from The Maverick
ME: this is the maverick
-Sent from The Maverick
SA: Oops..forgot...this is goosy loosy...
SA: Lol forget the loosy part ...
ME: lmao! what are u doing
-Sent from The Maverick
SA: Sitting here...my foocaring face hurts and my ear is killing me! seriously, i still am swolen and in pain
ME: take painkillers. they seem to work for killing pain. this is the maverick!
-Sent from The Maverick
(I HAVE JUST BLOWN UP MY SON'S PHONE WITH MAVERICK TEXTS)
ME: have you heard anything from cody?
-Sent from The Maverick
SA: Like what
ME: hows he doing. fone seems to not be working. been texting him for an hour now!
-Sent from The Maverick
ME: this is the maverick!'
-Sent from The Maverick
SA: Hes at school
SA: Yeah..i know..u already said that
ME: oh. okay. that would explain it. he's probably gonna be really pissed when you pick him up.
-Sent from The Maverick
ME: really REALLY pissed! Might want to have some beef jerky in the car when you pick him up!
-Sent from The Maverick
ME: another helpful tip from the maverick!
-Sent from The Maverick
SA: Yeah...that will be a newwww nooo newww on the beef jerky
ME: lmao! didnt know he was in chool
-Sent from The Maverick
ME: theyre having a big DEALS ON HEELS sale at jc penney - you want to go?
-Sent from The Maverick
ME: a free bargain sale tip from the maverick. am i annoying you? cuz if i am just say so. im the maverick.
-Sent from The Maverick
SA: Your ok for now....but i will be declothing and showering here in a min so i will unintentionally ignoring u soon
ME: U CANT IGNORE THE MAVERICK! IM THE MAVERICK! ITS 1208 maverick time.
-Sent from The Maverick
ME: The Maverick has unlimited texting!
-Sent from The Maverick
ME: the maverick needs some food. you gonna be going to a store today?
-Sent from The Maverick
SA: Ya
ME: the maverick thanks you!
-Sent from The Maverick
SA: Showering
ME: okay. the maverick wishes you a happy showering experience.
-Sent from The Maverick
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